Being rebellious comes from a deep desire to be controlled.
As you resist expectations, you’re effectively saying: Take charge of me! Make me do what I’m supposed to do. I can’t manage all by myself!
Sure, you might have convinced yourself that you hate expectations – you’re a rebel without a cause, right? Yet, others see you as a big, cranky baby.
Slow down and pay attention. You’ll notice it feels delicious in some subtle way to be ordered around, nagged to death. You love that. And you love resisting, so people keep doing it.
Otherwise, you’d stop encouraging all those attempts at control by cooperating with normal expectations as an independent person who doesn’t need a mommy.