The Insulting Reason You’re So Unmotivated

why am I so unmotivated









There you go again – unmotivated – lollygagging about, wasting time and fighting the guilt. Life is a battle between what you should do and what you’re actually doing. How have you found a conflicted home in this rut?

I’ll tell you in plain English. But first…

Be warned: The title to this post isn’t a joke. You might be offended. I did think about softer ways to say this, but in the end, decided to plunge the dagger of truth straight into your heart. If you resist, you may walk away unwounded, but without the truth.

The principles we’re applying to lack of motivation today are supported by a rich psychological history that began with Freud and Bergler. They’re also reflected in M. Scott Peck’s work, as well as that of the brilliant Peter Michaelson. In other words, this isn’t my stuff, although I’m proud of the grocery store metaphor:)

Good luck…and no offense intended.

The unconscious reason many of us are so unmotivated to do great things.

Here’s the brazen truth, illustrated through grocery store drama:

You’re getting through a long line at the grocery store, but the checkout closes at the last second. You look around like a lost child, then the store manager promptly directs you to the end of different line. And it’s a longer line than the one you just endured.

You’re pissed. “Excuse me, I was at the front!”

“No worries,” replies the manager. “Just close your eyes and think of being at the beach. It might help your impatience. Works for me anyways.”


How likely are you to follow this schmuck’s advice?

And that sets the stage to understand why many us of are so thoroughly unmotivated. Do you see where this is going yet?

You’re unmotivated because you don’t believe you should have to deal with all the annoying little messes of life. The shabby house, your cluttered mind, the extra weight around your midsection… Whiney children, a lazy spouse, that overbooked schedule, and how much friggin’ work it takes to actually get ahead.

On and on, the problems never end. You thought life would be easier. You were so wrong!

Somewhere deep down, if you’re notlack motivation  doing what needs to be done, you’re thinking:

This sucks! It’s unfair. I shouldn’t have to put up with this shit!

In your unmotivated state, putting off the difficult things that need to be done, you’re acting as if Life unjustly put you at the back of the line after you waited your turn.

Stuff should start to come easier by now. You’ve been through hell already, right? When do you get to live on easy street?

Challenges can be improved upon, little by little, but they require consistent effort. As Jack Lalanne was fond of saying: Get off your butt and work at living! 

Yet, if you’re thinking all the hassle and hardship is unfair, having to work hard – every single day – to overcome these problems you shouldn’t have had in the first place…it’s preposterous. Screw that!

You’re not about to condone the crime against you. No, no, you’ll just sit around waiting for Life to correct itself and deliver that silver platter of success you ordered when you were in high school.

Besides, you may have worked hard for a while. Then you learned through painful experience that there are no guarantees in this package deal called life in the real world, and your mojo expired. Enough of that! I did my time and life ignored all my hard work. I tried!

Resentment sets in. Deep down, you’re bitter. And you’re savoring that bitterness; evidence of the injustices so cruelly played against you.

Okay? So stop all that.

If you’re still here, I invite you to consider the following:

When you’re feeling life is unfair, stop and question. Really? Who am I not to suffer? Aren’t there people in the world dealing with one hell of a lot more injustice?

When you’re asking: Why me? Immediately follow with a second question: Why not me?

When you don’t feel like doing something you need to do, stop and ask yourself: What am I really expecting? Should my trials magically disappear because I’m special? Why wouldn’t I have to work hard to get what I want?

When confronted with your most challenging problem, say to yourself: This is life. I am not above having this issue. Everyone goes through stuff like this. I am not a special victim.

When you’re complaining, compassionately tell yourself to grow up.

I’ll do the same.

In the meantime, don’t miss the next post! Sign up for free updates below. I promise I’ll never hold back, no matter how radical the truth may seem.

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Mike Bundrant
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and an avid blogger.

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